Magical Chaos – spinning through the Chrysalis of Adolescence with our Daughters’

This is it! I’m finally getting what’s been in my heart out onto a page for all of you to read and journey with me…… or should I say us?…… through.

I remember when I was a new parent, even a newlywed, having all of these incredible women around me that I could look up to and ask questions and tap into for the knowledge I needed for those very precious new moments in my life. Those women have always been there, even to this day and I value their experience and their advice, input and example. They have helped shape my thinking as a wife, mom and woman.

CHANGE….all the live long day

This parenting journey is constantly filled with this blessed word we use – Change. “An act or process through which something becomes different”

Being my own human self, I am in this constant state – becoming different in so many ways. But today I don’t want to talk about myself – I want to highlight ONE of the constant barrages of changes happening in our little family.

I wrote about it a few months, if not a few years ago – about how our three children seem to hit a wave of change all at the same time but in different stages.

Adolescence……how do we even?

There are just too many thoughts running through my head at one given time. I often think that’s why I don’t write as much – where do I start? The spaghetti mix that’s in here (finger to forehead) is not for the faint hearted – I guess I should know, right? (insert skew faced emoji).

But, today I was chatting to a friend online and it made me realize that there’s one thing that keeps nagging and running around my brain that I’m needing to just write down and share. We have two daughters – that are beautifully unique and respond to completely different approaches to everything. So when it comes to helping them navigate their delicate journey called adolescence, I must admit that it’s been interesting and challenging all at the same time.

Period talk……

This might be an over share blog post and so for all of my male readers, just know periods and girlie stuff are at the center of my little stage today. So, if you’re not interested in that kind of thing – cheers – see you next time. But if you have a preteen and are a woman – this might just interest you and also, I’d love to hear what you think.

Faith in Her Being Responsible

It’s Tuesday already and I’m literally at the same place I always get to when it comes to this blog. A LOT has happened in the last few days and I often wish there was a big brother camera just following us and documenting my every thought so that I could just upload it to the blog, without having to come back three days later and wonder what actually happened and why I’m writing stuff down.

There are so many things that I’ve learned in the last two days that I’m rather just going to focus in on the highlight. As I mentioned in the one post over the weekend – our girls went on their first camp together. To add a little more drama to the whole thing – as it was mentioned – our oldest kind of injured herself at gymnastics to a point that she needed crutches. Yes, dramatic I know.

What was hilarious about the whole debacle was that as it happened – the first emotional, teary whisper to me (as her mother) after I asked how she’s feeling, was……
“I’m not going to be able to go on camp”…….. COME ON?!! (I was saying in my head). This could have been a lot worse than it actually was and you’re worried about not going on camp?

I must admit that it is in these moments, when she seems to over react and show what she is concerned about – that I realise she’s caught between being a little kid and now developing into a little adult. Her emotional and rational thinking are all over the place and what she sees as important isn’t necessarily what an adult would see as “the end of the world”. (said with the back of my hand on my forehead and slightly fainting) 

I have had to pull myself back, not get frustrated with her and just try and bring it down to her level to process for herself. I was an irrational teenager once and so the language hasn’t changed – so therefore I try to speak into her world to help her through the adolescent “worlds end”. Needless to say – she was fine and she went on the camp.

But what I’m wanting to put down here is, that this was a fantastic opportunity for her to exercise her own responsibility over her own body without me nagging at her to be careful. I spoke to her teachers and explained the situation and that she wouldn’t be able to participate in everything in order to protect the injury. They were on board and asked if they would have to enforce it (resting the leg) on her or would she be able to manage it on her own.

I confidently said – she can manage it, she’s a big girl. Plus, she knows what’s at stake if she messes with the leg. Honestly, when I was saying this – on the inside I was wanting to pull the teacher aside and say, “no – she doesn’t have the self control, I don’t think she’ll be wise and you know what? actually just wrap her in cotton wool and let her do absolutely nothing for the weekend.” (now who’s being dramatic, right?)

But words are powerful and showing your kids you have faith in them to do the right thing, I believe – makes more of an impact than anything else. I can say this because the weekend is over and the incredible feedback I got afterwards was awesome.

She wisely approached every activity and even if she couldn’t do it – she made a way to positively share in the experience without a bad attitude. When I heard this and also after talking to her about the camp afterwards – I really was and am proud of her. She truly rested her leg and yet had so much fun.

This was a highlight for me because it was a theory I tested and it worked for this situation. I’m saying it this way because I honestly don’t know what the future holds and I can only pray that there will be many more situations where my children decide for themselves that they are going to take a situation and make the better choice.

Why the silence? I’m back and here’s why….

As you can probably assume based on the date of my previous post – it has been a really long time since I have written anything on this precious little space of mine. Yup, even I look at the date and wonder – what happened? I feel like I’ve ghosted myself. #facepalm

She’s 11! What I’ve learned from her

Today is the day that our oldest daughter turns 11. You know how people say you forget the pain of birth and all that jazz? Well, they’re wrong. I remember it like it was yesterday. I wrote out her birth story last year and it was a massive hit! Why? I honestly don’t know? Anyway, this year I’m going to write down a few things that I’ve learned from my 11 year old in the last 11 years.

No, she is not 13 😀 She’s an awesome 11!

Disciplining my kids is not fun!

As I reread the title of my post, back to myself – I sigh every time. It’s the absolute, complete, truth! I remember setting out on this parenting journey and wanting to set up our disciplining early so that it would be easier for us later…….. well that was a complete joke! Now, understand upfront, that this post isn’t a complaining one – I’m super proud of us, and our kids are amazing, but I don’t want the illusion bubble of “they’re amazing” to cloud the fact that it has been a continuous journey of slogging it out up until now.

My 10 year old just told me off……..

So it’s been a few weeks of running around and burying myself in getting our routine right again. Let’s just say that it’s not going well, but we are afloat and at least I know my kids are learning something every day. Anyway, let’s get to my title……… yes, this happened…… my 10 year literally served me metaphorical medicine and made me drink a massive lesson.

3 Ways I Honour my Children Online

Over the last few months, I’ve really been stumped with this whole “protecting your kids” online kind of vibe. It’s so scary to think there’s all of these sad, sick people out there that prey on innocent little people. I hate that I can’t just “take a pic” of my kids and freely share it with the world without thinking about how much of their body are they showing and who is in the pic with them (so that no one can photoshop themselves into or out of the pic).