Posted in A moms opinion, Ministry life

4 Notes I’ve Made While He’s Been Away…..

This seems to be the reason why I’m struggling to get information into this blog of mine. I hear you asking what “this” is and I guess that’s what I’m here to blab about. You see, for the last 12 days, I have been husband-less. As much as I’d love to moan about how hard it is to do life without him around, I always hold myself back because there are soooooooo many single parents out there doing this journey alone. I find I gain increased respect for all of you out there.

I have always found that I get stretched in every possible way with this little lot of mine. I am emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually drained. I don’t pray as much as I do when Tim is away. Most of the time, it’s like this, “please God just help me here”. He’s amazing to give me ideas and words for every situation but I think it’s the constant leaning and turning around and asking that makes it that much harder.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I don’t mind the leaning, because I am dependent on Him daily anyway. But when the leaning requires learning and discerning what every little individual needs, that could potentially shape their little lives forever – it’s hard. I absolutely love that when Tim is here, I can at least give him one or two of the situations to carry in whatever way needed – but when it’s just me – it’s ALL me.

In a nutshell – parenting alone isn’t easy and yet……. and yet – my heart bursts when I look at our tribe. They are amazing and full of nuggets every day. I am proud and filled with awe when I observe their discoveries and personalities.

What is the point of this post? I guess it is to also point out a few things that I have noticed over the last few days, that have helped to solidify certain reasons why we should do things.

  1. 10 days is definitely our max. EVERY time day 10 comes – I am at my witts end and struggle with at least one of the kids. This time it was Jude – nothing major, he was just really clingy and unnecessary. On a normal day I would have handled it well – but this time I think we had at least 8 ‘time outs’ in the one hour – none of which required any higher form of punishment. More for me to gather my thoughts and try and make sure I wasn’t damaging him for life. #facepalm.
  2. I am definitely NOT a physical touch “love language” person. 2 of my children are and it’s exhausting to make sure that they are constantly getting hugs and cuddles and are feeling some sense of security – when my love tank is running low because I’m a “words of encouragement” kinda gal. Unfortunately not just anyone can say it….. need my boo for that one – sorry all of ya’ll that just want to pick up a phone and message me.
  3. Keeping a schedule without the husband is too easy when he’s not here. It’s really easy to become totally selfish and just focused on our little lives. When he gets back – it’s going to be hard to get back into sharing a car and making sure that our calendars don’t clash. (I think this is one of the selfish reasons why I like it when he goes away – don’t judge me)
  4. Routine, as much as it’s not shared, still has to be strictly in place. Without it the wheels would have, and probably the reason why they did, come off quite a bit over the last two days. Getting relaxed about something and not having a more rigid schedule tends to through the kids out and myself. So weekends are not our thing – weird as it may to say – but nope, we need the every-day-ness.

In a nutshell, the man must come back now. But then there’s the part of me that really feels bad to say that – there are so many parents that don’t have that number 2 to have return. I salute you all – you are soldiers and I look at you completely differently every time I have a “single parent” time, like I’ve just had.

Advertisements

Author:

I'm a woman finding my way through life as the wife of Tim, the mom to 3 growing kids and trying to maintain some sort of self through it all. I hope you enjoy reading how I’m trying to find myself through this life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.