As I reread the title of my post, back to myself – I sigh every time. It’s the absolute, complete, truth! I remember setting out on this parenting journey and wanting to set up our disciplining early so that it would be easier for us later…….. well that was a complete joke! Now, understand upfront, that this post isn’t a complaining one – I’m super proud of us, and our kids are amazing, but I don’t want the illusion bubble of “they’re amazing” to cloud the fact that it has been a continuous journey of slogging it out up until now.
I don’t know. There is truth in the fact that because we worked hard with them when they were little (one still is) that it has made the later “kiddy” years easier. But the game always changes. Each one requires a different approach. One can take the strict, hardcore parent – where as the other one will be completely crushed by that and needs a more strategic approach.
I guess I’m wanting to say this because it’s been a bit of a conundrum of late. My older two are at an age where the discipline thang is a lot more conversation, consequences and getting to places of understanding both sides, a lot more clearly. Where as our little gentleman needs the bare basic, slog at it every day “look at me” “don’t do that” “that’s bad behaviour” “naughty seat” approach.
But man oh man! is it insane because we’re constantly having to switch gears between them all. It can become a little hilarious when you’re expecting your 3 year old to explain “why” he did something…… when he’s still struggling to say the letter “k” in a word. As it’s happening, I smack myself metaphorically and remind myself that he’s only 3 and must just learn to “know” what he did is unacceptable and apologise with hugs and kisses.
Then you flip that coin on the older two and realise that you can’t send them to the naughty corner. (sometimes I do, but it’s more if they’re having an emotional break down and need to gather themselves) but they would just giggle at me if I did send them if they did something out of character.
One thing I do know, is that I am glad we started the process really early and that we have a culture of choices and consequences. It’s made for an easier road with the smaller one. But don’t you dare be fooled – these three have-it-on everyday and it’s a choice (mainly on my part, since I’m with them the most) to assess each and every situation and calculate approaches to make sure they all come out learning something good and makes them into better human beings.
Any tips and tricks that you use/used for your kids (even if they’re 28 years old) or something that worked for you that your parents did…….. I’d gladly welcome the information to help us learn more and parent as best as we can. (spanking, unfortunately isn’t an easy topic of late – and I’m choosing to keep my opinion off the public internet in case I get misquoted and reported for something I didn’t even do – but I’ll gladly share my opinion with you in person if you’re interested :D)