I decided last week that I was going to try and actually write something every day for the next few weeks and see what it does in my life and schedule and to the blog as well. So if I end up writing a whole lot of nonsense, then just know it’s because I just wanted to try something out.
Anyway, since I’m here – I might as well tell you about the last few days and just what’s in my bubble. (which is what this place if for really, right?)
So, I look at my kids and am constantly evaluating what I want for them and the memories that I want them to keep stored in their little memory banks. There’s one thing that I really enjoyed as a kid and something I would like to repeat for them – is having a bunch of people over from different parts of our lives and just hanging out over a game, pizza or just for nothing really.
So – this past few weeks with the world cup we grabbed the opportunity with both hands and I orchestrated a whole game thing that got a variety of people together. Nothing spectacular to put on pinterest about, but definitely massive memories made.
I think I made at least 22 Pizza’s the one evening, that were so yummy and fun (even if I say so myself). Then we had waffles. But what was the highlight and point for me was, that there were multi generations in the room from different families and backgrounds. They weren’t on their phones!
Some of you might have grown up this way but one thing I have noticed of late is that when we get together it’s often with the people we are close to and spend a lot of our time with. I want to break this – I feel that it’s important to have different people together as often as we can to give ourselves the opportunity to grow and learn so much more from each other.
My children must learn to be able to be around other kids that they don’t necessarily click with, but can be with and learn to be challenged to create fun from clashing personalities.
The first evening, my oldest came to me and was a little miffed that all of the kids were younger than her and there wasn’t anyone her age. It was at this moment that I had to nudge her and say that it’s not about age – it’s about getting into the game for the sake of relationship. If she couldn’t stand being with all of the littlies then she could quietly sit and learn from the young professional singles around. She could also help the mom with her baby – or just be around her dad or myself and just be. After our chat, she made a plan and then enjoyed herself.
The next time we did something, there were plenty of kids her age and she absolutely enjoyed herself and had to learn to curb her excitement. It was on this evening that I had one young man come to me and at the beginning of the evening – he was like, “shoo, I don’t know if I can handle this – there are too many kids around”. Which I think was a natural response on his part because he doesn’t have any children – but I gently said to him that he should just chill, sit back and wait for the evening to unfold. He would “get it” eventually.
This same guy, came to me at the end of the night and proceeded to say thank you and explain what he learned. He realized that what he had in his head for the evening was what he was used to as a single professional. Chilled, vibey and fun. Whereas he was slammed with chaotic, loud and louder. But what he came to realize that the kids were being kids and that was ok. They weren’t a nuisance or a pain. They didn’t need him in any way – they were being kids and as parents we were all allowing our kids to be kids and he learned so much from that.
That multi generations can be together and be their specific “age” together and yet not impact the kind of evening we intended on having. He came to realize that it’s important for multi generations to be together to learn from each other or else we end up being in our bubbles of where we’re at and not actually seeing the reality of what the different stages are like, in their true reality. This helps all of us to see what we’re in for in the next stage and ask questions and learn.
This is what I want for my home – I want different ages to be together and not feel they have to separate themselves because of where they’re at in their lives. Families with babies, kids, young professionals, teenagers, young couples, engaged, more experienced parents and those that have never even had kids and won’t. If I look at each of these different levels and stages – there is so much to learn from each and every one of them and that’s a good thing.
My kids need to learn that there are boundaries and that not everyone is their age and also that not everyone has the same say in their lives. They also need to exercise their boundaries with people they know and trust. It’s so important.
Anyway, I guess my point is, is that I really want my children to understand that everyone is equal and deserving of the same respect and that includes themselves as well.
Did you grow up like this? or did you have it where each age group had to go to their respective section of the house and not be seen or heard? What would you do differently? or do you agree with me?