Posted in A moms opinion, Jude

5 Things that stress my toddler out

If you’ve been following me on Facebook, Instagram or twitter over the last few days, you would have seen that I had to stay with my son in the hospital after we found out what was actually wrong with him. It wasn’t fun leading up to the whole incident and then to discover the reason for his tummy problems. As a parent, all you want to do is make your kid better when they’re sick and when you can’t it’s the most helpless feeling in the world. I really hate that feeling and yet it’s actually a good thing when it comes to my relationship with my Maker – right? anyway, here’s how the weekend unfolded – briefly.

Last Thursday I was over my head in that I didn’t know what was going on with my son and so after much debate with my hubby – I eventually took him back to the paediatrician. He then sent us off to get X-rays done and low and behold my poor son’s stomach, small intestine and large intestine was completely backed up with poop. The poor kid hadn’t poo’d ‘properly’ in days. Immediately we were signed up and checked into the hospital and that was to be our home for three days. (I didn’t realise it was going to take that long – so note to self, ask next time so that I can pack accordingly for myself)

My son then had to have a tube inserted through his nose and down into his stomach to then have 7 litres of fluid flushed through his system to clean it all out. I have never done so many toilet visits over just two days – in my life. so we get our first visit from the doc – since we’d checked in and i finally remember to ask the fundamental question. “what caused this back up?”

I’d asked it before but when I was asking I had my 8 year old nagging about when we would be leaving and my 3 year old running out of the room – needless to say I wasn’t listening very well.

So, he (being the doctor on call and not my actual paediatrician) proceeds to ask a series of questions about our little lives.

  1. does he go to creche? no
  2. is he in contact with other children that do go to school? no, sisters are homeschooled
  3. has anything traumatic happened in the family lately or to him that could cause him stress? I immediately say no – but then after having a little bit of a think and asking him what he means by causing him “stress” I realise hey! this could be it……

There were some other questions after about diet and such, but this third one had me and it made me realise that my kid has had a massive reaction to our home environment and it’s sadly made him constipated. Ok, I know he isn’t the greatest eater when it comes to food in general so I’m definitely changing that.

After having a good think and chat to my hubby about the cause of Jude’s pooptastrophy – here are a few things we came up with that could be causing him stress in his own toddler way.

  1. Mommy isn’t herself
    My reaction to what I’ve been going through has created a somewhat stressful environment for the little guy and he could be feeding off that….. so basically, a toddler can physically react according the emotional environment in the home even though the environment seems to be under control – it obviously hasn’t been….
  2. He hasn’t had a proper eating routine.
    Due to the nature of how we run our lives and also because he’s kind of number three – it’s one of those situations where, if he’s fed he’s happy kind of thing. but mean while I haven’t been taking note of what’s actually been going into his mouth and so he’s been pretty much fending for himself. So now I’m going to become a little more involved with what’s passing his lips every day. Poor guy – I really feel bad for him. The road up to now has really been a survival trip for his little 3 year old self.
  3. Technology, technology, technology……..
    Guys – this poor kid watches the iPad every evening while his older sisters are at gymnastics. After a good think – That could totally be a reason because that is a LOT of screen time in one sitting for this little guy. Even though he seems to be enjoying it – it could so totally, be causing his body stress in terms of managing the amount of digital imagery is going into his little brain. So, that’s been cut out especially now that we’re changing his next stress as well.
  4. Bad sleep habits
    Like I mentioned – his sisters do gymnastics. This has left us with a bed time of 9:00pm on average because they are heavily into what they’re doing and there has been no feasible way for me to be able to leave him and take them, then come back, risk trying to put him to bed, fail and then have to go back and pick them up……. so I’ve just tagged him along and he’s had to stay awake all of that time. This has completely messed up his sleep cycle and I didn’t realise how much he wasn’t actually coping. So we’ve adjusted how we do our evenings to suit him rather than try to suit the rest of us. I thought that we could get by with the same principle we had with the girls and that is – that the smallest member of the family needs to fit into the rest of the family’s schedule……. well, we’re scrapping that theory for the sake of my sons health.
  5. Sudden absent parent presence in the toddler’s life
    Even though my hubby and I are both at home most of the time – he has done a bit of travelling of late and then has also been nose deep in projects in his studio. Without realising it – it has caused unnecessary stress on the family because its been a continuos stretch of 3-5 weeks with him being here but not actually “being here”. If you know what I mean? (Please note these are all points that my hubby and I have chatted through and agree on, so it’s not a blame shifting thing – it’s more of an observation to what our son needs from both of us) The girls and I can easily cope and manage because we know that he is there and we can chat to him – but for a toddler, especially being a little boy – there is something they get from their dads that can’t be replicated by anyone else. So Dad’s on board and will be back into doing family alongside his work.

So in a nutshell – theses are the main area’s we felt we needed to work on as a family and see if it will help our little boy get back to his normal, happy self. Today is day two and I’m sitting here typing while he is fast asleep after adjusting his bed time. So happy that it’s worked for the first few days – here’s to hopefully a few more days this week where he gets to bed before 7:30pm.

Have you had stuff like this happen to your little people? What’s happened and how did you adjust? I could really use the tips and tricks to learn something new.

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Author:

I'm a woman finding my way through life as the wife of Tim, the mom to 3 growing kids and trying to maintain some sort of self through it all. I hope you enjoy reading how I’m trying to find myself through this life.

9 thoughts on “5 Things that stress my toddler out

  1. Very vulnerable and insightful…we all make assumptions like these and don’t know what the outcomes will be. Thanks for the heads up. Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Karissa – it’s amazing to see how it affects him. Just the change in sleep has shifted his demeanor tremendously. Working on the other stuff now 💪🏽

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  2. You and your hubby did well in discovering a need that needed changing, also make sure he drinks a lot of water and keeps meals and naps on time, routine,routine routine. My hubby and I had to make Career changes too, to accommodate kids they don’t do after school care l make lunches everyday no school food junk. My work day starts at 7 till 4. Kids see me more in daylight hours. Stay strong and use a calendar to help you follow routine.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for this Stacy. I remember when I was a first time mom swearing by routine and I’m am appalled at how I’ve slacked off with my third thinking it will be ok. Well – none of that. We are going back to being machines now 😬💜💜

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