Posted in Shaveh

I hate crying when there’s nothing to cry about

Have you ever had a day, a week or a month where you feel like you’re carrying lead around with you and it’s just yucky? I’m not talking about physically (even though this does influence the physical) I’m talking more like in your soul and heart?

I’ve had a few weeks like that lately. It’s so easy to mask it up – let me tell you – SO EASY. Especially in the generation we’re living in. Smiles, hugs and waves are so superficial and can so easily hide what’s really going on.

The worst is when you don’t even know why you’re feeling like that, right? I don’t think it’s full on depression but I bet it’s a drop of what depression feels like.

I have been unmotivated, empty and unwilling (wait, I don’t think that’s the right word – more like unable) to give to others what I would normally be able to. Others, I mean like my hubby, children and friends. It’s the weirdest thing, and I’m honestly so tired of feeling like this so I’ve been throwing myself into projects to see if being creative will help lift my spirit up.

I’ve even tried doing the right thing and spending time with God. I just feel that even there – I’m so heavy that it’s like sitting in His lap and just wanting to cry, but I don’t even know why I’m crying? And I hate crying when there’s nothing to cry about – I mean come on? Who wants to ugly cry for nothing, right?

But then again, maybe I’m carrying something and I don’t even know what it is…… like a subconscious something that’s trying it’s darndest to get out.

I don’t know about you, but who wants to go digging around a landmine and expect to not get hit or blown to pieces.

It’s more like, maybe I don’t want to fall apart because I’m pretty much ‘it’ for the kids. I’m their teacher, chauffer, chef and mom. My hubby works solidly and for me to just mope about and cry about something I don’t even know about, doesn’t make sense? Plus, my family’s life would go to the pooper if I did. I know my kids would lose their minds and go at each other like wild animals – and I aint having that. Fo realz!

Wow, this is depressing just reading it back to myself. I apologise for ruining your Monday. I wish I could end this one with something encouraging or something really profound – but alas – I am empty and void of anything positive right now.

I guess let’s call this one a really real low. Here’s hoping something flips somewhere and I can tell you about that……

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Posted in Being the wife, Ministry life

Being a Ministry Wife – Early Highs and Lows

I’m really enjoying this series and learning from other women who’ve been through different ministry experiences. This week I asked them what their earliest highlight was and what the earliest low light was. With the low light what they learned from it. Once again, as I wrote in the first installment – I’m keeping everyone anonymous and some weeks there’s be plenty of responses and others there’ll be a few because they are all very busy ladies. Here’s 3 stories for you to read. I hope you learn something new about the way that we live our lives. Continue reading “Being a Ministry Wife – Early Highs and Lows”

Posted in A moms opinion, Aislyn

Letting my pre-teen deal with disappointment

This past weekend was one of those weekends that was jam packed with activity, life lessons and left my little family wrecked. Yet, at the same time it’s the kind of wrecked that ‘feels’ filling and satisfying even though all I want to do is lie down and sleep. I honestly don’t know how working/school going families do this. I can’t even imagine having to wake up on Monday morning and having to get straight back into normal life as if we have had the most restful weekend as we’re supposed to.

Continue reading “Letting my pre-teen deal with disappointment”

Posted in How do we homeschool...., The talk with my kids

Homeschool Car Conversations – Can I drive when I’m 16?

We haven’t done one of these in a very long time and so we just decided to take a video and post it – even if it wasn’t planned. I really hope you enjoy sharing this little moment with us. The girls and I often have very random conversations and honestly – I never thought until now to capture them and share our spontaneous nuggets.

Enjoy

Posted in Being the wife, It's a God thing, Ministry life

Being a “Ministry” wife – 6 Wives share

Time is honestly flying by! It’s like, March already. Can somebody pinch me please? While I pull myself towards myself – let’s just dive in shall we. I have been wanting to do this kind of post for a very, very, very, VERY long time. I have been playing with the idea like a cat with a ball of wool. It’s been one of those that I haven’t been too sure about and also, will it be well received? Do people really want to know about this kind of thing…. So after much pondering, and running it by a few people I decided to just do it and see what happens. Not to really get a response, but to see if it will begin to help some people.

Ok, I hear you – what idea is it Shaveh? Continue reading “Being a “Ministry” wife – 6 Wives share”