Have you ever had a season where you just don’t feel the wheels are on properly? You know that feeling? It’s kind of overwhelming and out of control but at the same time you know your life is just going to just keep on moving ahead and continue until you grapple and gain control again? Anyone relate?Ok, so these last few weeks have been like that for me. I’m still trying to hop skip and jump my way back into my smooth routine. Now, what’s hilarious is that it has nothing to do with the kids’ routine or our family life – it’s more about me. My sleeping pattern is out and I’m just not eating the way I know will make me feel fantastic. It’s like the hustle is happening to just keep mommy alive and yet mommy is the only one hustling. Strange right?
Anyway, I know exactly what’s sent me into the spin – but unfortunately I’m not going to pour that out yet until I know what it’s exactly about. (sorry, I’m just not ready yet) But it’s insane how something so simple can completely side swipe me into an emotional and spiritual tizz.
I know it is definitely the human response to the situation and that’s ok – why? Maybe because I am human! But what’s so funny about this is that when God wants to get my attention and actually direct me to the source of the problem he uses a friend to literally smack me through the phone and call me on my nonsense and refocus.
Ok, so I’m processing this whole thing with a friend and chatting it out to make sure that I lay everything out on the table and make some sense of it. Still completely feeling overwhelmed and useless. It’s in that moment that I get a phone call. (now those that know me, know how much I just LOVE phones calls……. Um not so much – text ok! My brain just can’t store more info through my ears. My eyes work so much better) Anyway, I know this specific friend doesn’t just phone for no reason and so I pick up.
She literally says this, “What are you doing right now? Why is God talking to me about you!?!” I briefly tell her what I’m processing and why and she proceeds to call me on my nonsense and say that God wants me to refocus and not carry this thing. And trust me guys, she’s not the type to be all Holy shmoley about stuff so I know it’s for real.
It was in that moment that I realized that God had to use my friend to get through to my spirit person. What!!?
It was then that I realized that He’s got my back and I just need to hand the steering wheel over and in order to feel the smooth control of the journey – He has to drive.
I felt like Balaam in the Bible when the Donkey had to talk to him in order for him to listen. (ok, you’re not a donkey – you know who you are – but boy am I grateful for your obedience)
In a nutshell, I’m so grateful that God has my back and when he sees me spinning out and trying to sort my stuff out – he steps in and makes sure I shift my focus back onto him.
Have you ever had these kinds of moments? They’re pretty intense when they happen but so worth the journey when they do because I am reminded of who I’ve surrendered my life to and should keep it that way.