Friday Feder Files – how’s the family doing?

Friday morning has made me all reflective and I think it would be appropriate to have a little update on where my little tribe are at. Let’s start with Tim. As you might have read, about two weeks ago, he went in for a hernia surgery repair thing. To date, it’s been interesting. Trying to keep an entrepreneur from working is like telling a toddler they can’t have chocolate that’s sitting right in from of them. It’s really hard. So, poor Tim has been trying his hardest to rest but at the same time has been slowly doing little bits of what he normally does everyday. It’s getting better and I’m glad that he’s recovering, but once again – it hasn’t been easy.

Me. Mommy Shaveh – I’m doing ok, as ok can be. I think it’s really hard to have a spouse that’s man down. When dealing with the kids, it’s so much easier not having him around because then I sub consciously know it’s all on me. But him just being there but not able to do much is the weirdest kind of stress. It’s like I want to get annoyed, but then can’t because I remember – the brother has to rest. So that’s been a challenge. Ooooo, and ugly mommy made an appearance this week, on purpose might I add. I was completely done with my three not doing what they’re supposed to do. I gave them the talk (rather, shout) that I speak nicely, calmly, I make reward charts, take the time to talk things through and I’m patient and yet nothing happens? No response from nice mommy, stuff doesn’t get picked up, desks don’t get cleared, attitudes still happen, chores don’t get done, beds don’t get made……etc there’s so much more but Nice mommy was at her limit and let them know on purpose. So much so, that Aislyn described it like this – Dad, ugly mommy was let out of jail this week. And it was our fault because we didn’t keep her in jail by being obedient or listening. It wasn’t nice to have ugly mommy out like that.

Now, understand that she explained this with a big smile on her face and isn’t emotionally scarred in any way – because I was really deliberate in the way that I addressed them. I hadn’t lost my cool – I just turned ugly mommy on. Which made a difference for me – by deciding to do it and not reacting emotionally, there wasn’t any guilt because I went in with an intention to make an impact and explain my situation for them to listen.

Some might call this drastic and maybe border line manipulative – but if you’ve been where I’ve been and do what I do – drastic situations call for drastic measures sometimes.

Aislyn, ahhhh – sigh. I was chatting to a friend just yesterday and was sharing how I’m really loving this stage of her being a child (still) and yet, I can feel the cacoon is being spun and my little caterpillar baby is changing. She’s an absolute joy to chat to and our conversations are really deep and her questions are really thought out. But, let this not fool you – it’s really hard because she’s starting to be a little bit more challenging and trying to guide this process isn’t a walk in the park. Punishments, rewards, character building talks are no longer what they used to be. We’re changing strategy and it’s hectic. I’m actually going to troll the internet for blogs about preteens parents. I need all the help I can get to assist me in navigating this process wisely.

Iraina – guys! This kid is forever singing and twirling and flitting about our home. It’s wonderful. She still constantly makes her teddies do various things and currently they are all babies and potty training with Jude. She’s such a great play companion to him now. They get along so well, and she’s brought him into her imaginary world and he’s loving it. They’re constantly flying through the house under blankets, riding on bikes chasing spies or building teddy fortresses to settle down for a camp. She’s so wonderful to watch. She’s also reading like a beast. She pumps through her library books much faster than I ever did at her age. She’s into Hello Kitty and is enjoying the different characters in the books. But like Aislyn, she has her own set of challenges. Impulsive decisions are where she’s at. Some of them are good, but others leave really messy after math and I guess we just have to deal.

Jude, our main man Jude. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned before that I’m slightly concerned with his speech development. Now, before you jump up and say, the kid is only 2 – leave him it’ll come. I think as a mom, when your gut is telling you something – it’s worth acting on it. Yes, he gets spoken for a lot by many family members – but we’ve been working on getting him to speak and there’s just something a miss in his interpretation of words. He reminds me of a minion at the moment – it’s really cute, but at the same time it’s hard for him because he can’t quite communicate without using sign language/charades. If he was in a crèche of some kind I’m sure they would have said something and he would have been frustrated due to his slight delay. So, I’m going to have him checked.

His potty training has been going well. 2 whole weeks of success, with me taking him routinely to the loo. It’s been great, but it’s amazing how quickly I started to lay back and think he had it – then WHAM! We had a whole day of peeing everywhere. We went through so many outfits and undies that I had to remind myself – the dude hasn’t quite got it yet. So I whipped out the jelly beans and now we move to level two with rewards, to tell me when he needs the loo. I will give feedback in another 2 weeks time.

Well, that’s us in a nutshell and I’m hoping this weekend that’s full of youth group, 2 or 3 birthday parties, family and church isn’t going to be too hectic going into next week.

Have a good weekend folks.