Growing up is something I longed to do from the age of about 3 or 4 until I was about 18/19 – maybe stretch it to about 22. But there comes a time when being a grown up isn’t as much fun as I thought it would be. I remember playing house, arranging fake furniture in my “play play” house that I had made with one layer of bricks, that even had a passage with bedrooms and stuff. Guys, I was hard core – there were even doors (that were just openings) and you couldn’t just walk over the bricks, I had to go through the doors of my architectural drawing type house.
I remember sneaking ingredients out of the house and mixing them together in the hope that they would miraculously turn into some sort of cake, that I could eat, because I watched my mom do it once and thought it would work in the hot sun. (don’t shake your head at me, I know you did this at least once in your life)
I don’t know about you boys, but every girl, at least once, stuffs socks into a vest and prances around the house like a Barbie wanting to be all “grown up” in someone’s high heeled shoes. I desperately wanted to drive and ended up damaging a few car parts trying (that’s a story for another day). There’s the whole job thing, when I would get to have my own money and spend it on whatever I wanted! Without anyone telling you what to do with it.
It’s amazing that when the reality of being an adult hit, all the stuff I wanted to do when I was little or a teenager is there but with all these little transparent strings attached that no one warns you about.
Oooooo, ingredients to make my own food…… I have to buy the ingredients for the food. With the money I just earned. That I thought I could spend on what I wanted. Hmmmmmm
Ooooo ooo ooo, I get to drive a car now! Oh snap, I don’t have a car – they cost how much? I have to use my own money for that? And then pay for fuel to drive around in it? Ugh
Yay! My own money at last that I earned working so hard. TAX? What’s that? It goes to who? I have to pay for what? Lodging, electricity, food, transport etc. What’s left for me? HEY! Nobody told me about this part! All of these little strings attached to all the “grown up” stuff.
Add being responsible for another human being! Ones that I CHOSE to bring into this world. They need so much more that just lodging, food and transport – here we attach imaginary drips to my emotional tank and extend to each kid, where they drain the strength out of you as you try to keep them alive, and not kill each other and make them into somewhat decent human beings.
There’s obviously so much more to being a grown up, but you get the picture. There are days when I just want to be that little girl again, laying out my bricks and dreaming of the house that I would have one day, making failed cakes with ingredients that I didn’t have to spend money on and then later retreat into the comfort of being cared for by my “grown ups”.
Today, I don’t want to adult.