Posted in The talk with my kids

When I started having ‘the talk’ with my kids

Being the mom and being with my little tribe most of the day, I realized that my first reactions to their curious minds and bodies would determine our ‘sex talk’ relationship forever. It has been a long journey so far and I honestly don’t think I’m doing a perfect job. But I’m feeling compelled to share this part of our story that may help someone else that thinks or feels the way that we do.
Ever since our kids were born, we had decided that we wanted our home to be one where they could be free about their bodies and their sexuality, along with respect and modesty. But, as much as there are books and information everywhere about how to talk to your kids about sex, there wasn’t a book that gave us the exact guidelines on how to create that atmosphere in our home without compromising our beliefs. Yes, there’s many points of view on the way to do it depending on what the belief system is but they’re my kids – mine! And no person, book or article that I have looked over in the passing years, have been able to combine what we wanted to do.
So, we started with the baby steps – literally. From nappy changes we had said that every body part would be named according to its biological one. I must admit that as a parent, it was a lot more awkward for me than my child because there’s so many ways that a toddler can adapt a word and that word gets shouted across the house ironically when older, more awkward visitors are around. #awkward.
We also decided that if we’re wanting them to be free about themselves then we should be too – right? Monkey see monkey do? Now take this the right way – we aren’t hippies running around in our birthday suites all the time. Good heavens, no! But, if we happen to be getting dressed/showered, up until a certain age, they could freely roam around in our company. But there came a time when we started teaching them to knock first and learn to respect us. We still allow them the courtesy of being around us, but they have learned to respect our boundaries as they have started laying theirs down as well and we respect theirs. Unintentionally, this has taught them that their bodies are theirs and only they determine who gets to see their birthday suit and they have every right to say no.
Our ‘baby steps’ have helped to pave the way forward with the culture and atmosphere we have and want to set. I have many more stories to share about how we got to nine years old and chatting through feminine hygiene like it’s just another topic in the car on the way to swimming. I’m going to savor these memories for a series I’ll call ‘the talk with my kids’. 
If you have any tidbits or stories to share, good or bad (spare the descriptive details) please share it in the comments. I’d love to learn from you as well.

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Author:

I'm a woman finding my way through life as the wife of Tim, the mother to 3 growing kids and trying to maintain some sort of self through it all.

4 thoughts on “When I started having ‘the talk’ with my kids

  1. Nothing prepares you for “the talk” with your kids!!

    I have just recently discovered your blogs so I am trying to play catch up.

    My daughter recently turned 13 and even though we have been having the talk nothing prepares you for a teenager more importantly nothing prepares you for the day when she starts wearing her first bra or when she became a young lady. Life is full of surprises but as a mom to a new teenager I had to learn very fast how to deal with her as she was dealing with her body and how it was changing.
    This journey is new for her as it is for me and I must often remind myself that I was a teenager too and my mother had to deal with me and I am sure that I wasn’t easy!
    But having said this…. It’s not easy but I am enjoying this journey with my daughter and we are making the most of it together!

    1. That’s awesome Subie! I can’t believe she’s 13 already! Time really flies, just the other day she was potty training 😄 it’s definitely a learning curve for all of us

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