Posted in Aislyn, Family memories, Uncategorized

Reward vs Just because we love you

As a parent there are so many scenarios that we have to face every day. Discipline is one of the biggest ones-especially in the early years. Navigating this road is no joke and we are doing our best to understand our children and guide them towards their dreams, goals and destinies.

Anyway, last week we had had quite a difficult time with both Aislyn and Iraina and their understanding of boundaries with regards to sweets and fun. It wasn’t necessarily the sweets that was the problem, but rather the stepping over the boundary of not having them until a certain time. So due to some disobedient behaviour, we had removed privileges from them and they we suffering the consequences there of.

This is obviously a scene from the average family (in my point of view). The girls were realising that boundaries are there for a reason and there are consequences. So, Tim suggested that we take the girls to a movie on the Friday evening as a family outing – I agreed and we found a cartoon that suited the family and started to plan the evening. Aislyn came in and wanted to know why they were allowed to go a movie even though they hadn’t been good? This was when I realised that it was a great opportunity to show her that it wasn’t the “stuff” that was important or the sentence she was walking out, but that even though we had instilled those lessons to learn – they were now able to see that stuff isn’t always given just because “you’re good” but also because “we love you”.

Coming to that realisation of how important it was for her to see the difference was quite overwhelming for me, as she had been too young to really understand the difference between rewards for her actions and acts of love before. By just giving them something special (which could have been anything really) showed them that there is grace no matter what you’ve done and we love them whether they’re good or bad.

The highlight of the evening was when we were on our way to the movies and Aislyn couldn’t stop saying thank you. We hadn’t even got there or watched the movie yet, but she was so overcome with gratitude that she was thanking us all the way there and afterwards when we were on our way home.

I’m praying we have more moms a like that when we can show them grace and love and the difference between doing something for a reward or something just because we love them.

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Author:

I'm a woman finding my way through life as the wife of Tim, the mother to 3 growing kids and trying to maintain some sort of self through it all.

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